The Warmth That Finds Us Again

Finding moments of light in the changing seasons of grief.

There is something about New England weather that reminds me of grief.

One day, the air is cold. The leaves are falling. The mornings feel darker, and you find yourself reaching for a sweatshirt before stepping outside.

Summer feels like a distant memory.

And then, out of nowhere, the sun comes back.

The air feels warm again. The windows open. The kids are playing outside without jackets, and for a little while, it almost feels like summer never left.

We sometimes call it a second summer.

And maybe grief has moments like that too.

After losing someone we love, there can be a season when everything feels cold.

Not necessarily the kind of cold you feel on your skin, but the kind that settles somewhere deeper.

The empty space at the table.

The phone call that will never come.

The conversations you wish you could have one more time.

The memories that seem to find you when you least expect them.

Some days, just getting through the ordinary parts of life can feel exhausting.

And then something happens.

Maybe you're driving with the windows down and a song comes on that makes you smile instead of cry.

Maybe you're sitting outside, feeling the sun on your face, and for the first time in a while, your mind feels quiet.

Maybe someone tells a story about the person you miss, and instead of feeling that familiar ache, you find yourself laughing.

Really laughing.

And for a moment, things feel a little lighter.

But sometimes that warmth brings something else with it.

Guilt.

How can I be laughing when they're not here?

How can I be enjoying this beautiful day when someone I love is missing from it?

Grief can make happiness feel complicated.

We may begin to wonder whether feeling better means we're forgetting. Whether enjoying life means we're moving further away from the person we lost.

But maybe those moments of warmth aren't about forgetting at all.

Maybe they're reminders that our hearts can hold more than one feeling at a time.

We can miss someone terribly and still enjoy the sunshine.

We can wish they were sitting beside us and still laugh at something funny.

We can carry sadness and experience happiness in the very same afternoon.

Because a warm day in October doesn't erase the cold that came before it.

It simply gives us a moment to feel the sun again.

And grief can be like that.

There may be days when the sadness returns just as unexpectedly as the warmth did. A photograph, a familiar smell, or an ordinary Tuesday can bring the ache right back.

That doesn't take away from the good moments.

And the good moments don't take away from the love we still carry.

Perhaps one of the more difficult parts of grief is learning to welcome happiness again without feeling as though we're leaving someone behind.

Because the person we miss was part of our life.

And in many ways, they still are.

In the stories we tell.

In the traditions we keep.

In the lessons they taught us.

In the way we love the people around us.

We don't have to choose between remembering them and allowing ourselves to experience something beautiful.

There can be room for both.

So as the seasons change, and New England surprises us with another warm afternoon, maybe there's something worth remembering.

The cold may return.

The leaves will continue to fall.

Winter will eventually arrive.

But for today, the sun is shining.

And maybe, just for today, we can let ourselves feel its warmth.

Not because we've forgotten.

Not because the grief is gone.

But because even after loss, life can still offer moments worth feeling.

And those moments belong to us, too.

A little reflection...

Has there been a moment since losing someone you love when happiness caught you by surprise?

Maybe it was a beautiful day, a funny memory, a song, or something small that made you smile when you didn't expect to.

What was your little moment of warmth?

written by Ashley Donovan